Friday, April 8, 2011

A Touching Story About Marriage

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said,

I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed

the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I

was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and

shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She

was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.

But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to

Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!


With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she

could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten

years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted

time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved

Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had

expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of

divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer

now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the

table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast

because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so

I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything

from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in

that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her

reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want

to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how

I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our

bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to

make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought

it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,

she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was

explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both

appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms.

His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then

to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes

and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling

somewhat upset. I put her down outside

the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I

could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this

woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There

were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its

toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning.

This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing

again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month

slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but

could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown

bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why

I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him,

seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his

life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I

turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last

minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the

sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.

I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my

arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly

and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I

was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane

opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce

anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever?

She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My

marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of

our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that

since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her

until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the

door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The

salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you

out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up

stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even

notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the

whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the

divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is

not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an

environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So

find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other

that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to

success when they gave up and for those of us not married, we can learn the art of sticking together with your relationship partner despite the odds. You are both stronger than the odds only when you agree.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined

together, let not man separate

source: Thembi Mazibuko

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